Confession time - I've lost my passion for painting.
Sigh, I don't know where it went, it must be around here somewhere but it doesn't appear when I show up and paint...
Could it just be that the honeymoon phase is over and I just have to knuckle down and get on with it.
I ask myself all sorts of questions such as:
'Why do I paint?'
'What am I going to do with more canvases? How many more canvases can my house hold before my family say enough?'
'Why didn't I listen to my friend who warned me not to make my hobby my work?'
'Where do I want my art business to go from here?'
Whilst I was away on my vacation I did not miss painting at all, maybe just a little bit at the end. I took heaps of photos and have loads of inspiration so that's not a problem. When I got back from vacation some arty friends asked me to join them at the local art's festival and have a booth but I would have had to have my own booth, buy a marquee, buy a stallholder's permit. public liability insurance - it was going to cost about $500 and I felt it too much pressure to get it organised and to sell to cover my costs...so I said No even though it had been a dream of mine for a few years and a great opportunity I just felt unable to do it.
In 2009 I started drawing classes to get my mind focused away from myself and to help with depression - it was part of the healing process. But now I feel healed, I feel really happy (apart from the art), my relationship with my husband is great - better than ever and I've done a lot of forgiving of others and of myself and now I feel good. I feel healed.
I spoke to a close friend about this and she said 'Now you have healed it is time to grow.'
And then there's my creative space - which I put up a pic in last weekend's Sunday's Snippets - it's my kitchen or an area outside. I just feel like I need an area where I can splash paint around and not be worried about the floors or the wind. And I can't get into my art/spare/junk room at the moment. Argh...
What am I doing about it? I'm still painting as you've seen photos on my blog and instagram, I'm drawing and doodling and dangling and colouring in. So I'm still being creative hoping that spark will come back. I'm watching art videos, doing an online course, even hosting BlogtoberFest 2013 hoping to get back into the swing of things.
Sorry if I sound so whingy or whiney.... I'm writing this post because I feel others may be able to relate to it, not for sympathy - I really hope none of my family reads it....and maybe you've been there and come through the situation and have some ideas for me....
I've done some reasearch on the internet and have found some interesting blogs about this:
http://rachaelrice.com/2013/09/16-things-to-do-when-your-creative-mojo-has-left-the-building/
29 Ways to stay creative
The Cold Easel Syndrome thanks Suzi Poland
Sigh, I don't know where it went, it must be around here somewhere but it doesn't appear when I show up and paint...
Could it just be that the honeymoon phase is over and I just have to knuckle down and get on with it.
I ask myself all sorts of questions such as:
'Why do I paint?'
'What am I going to do with more canvases? How many more canvases can my house hold before my family say enough?'
'Why didn't I listen to my friend who warned me not to make my hobby my work?'
'Where do I want my art business to go from here?'
Whilst I was away on my vacation I did not miss painting at all, maybe just a little bit at the end. I took heaps of photos and have loads of inspiration so that's not a problem. When I got back from vacation some arty friends asked me to join them at the local art's festival and have a booth but I would have had to have my own booth, buy a marquee, buy a stallholder's permit. public liability insurance - it was going to cost about $500 and I felt it too much pressure to get it organised and to sell to cover my costs...so I said No even though it had been a dream of mine for a few years and a great opportunity I just felt unable to do it.
In 2009 I started drawing classes to get my mind focused away from myself and to help with depression - it was part of the healing process. But now I feel healed, I feel really happy (apart from the art), my relationship with my husband is great - better than ever and I've done a lot of forgiving of others and of myself and now I feel good. I feel healed.
I spoke to a close friend about this and she said 'Now you have healed it is time to grow.'
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| Found in the south west of Ireland! |
What am I doing about it? I'm still painting as you've seen photos on my blog and instagram, I'm drawing and doodling and dangling and colouring in. So I'm still being creative hoping that spark will come back. I'm watching art videos, doing an online course, even hosting BlogtoberFest 2013 hoping to get back into the swing of things.
Sorry if I sound so whingy or whiney.... I'm writing this post because I feel others may be able to relate to it, not for sympathy - I really hope none of my family reads it....and maybe you've been there and come through the situation and have some ideas for me....
I've done some reasearch on the internet and have found some interesting blogs about this:
http://rachaelrice.com/2013/09/16-things-to-do-when-your-creative-mojo-has-left-the-building/
29 Ways to stay creative
The Cold Easel Syndrome thanks Suzi Poland
Creatives, if you've lost your passion, don't be afraid of change
What Do We Do When We Lose Our Passion For Something We Once Loved
So what keeps you passionate about your passion?
lol
lol
Unfortunately, I have no advice, but I wanted you to know you aren't alone in your search...I have no clue what I'm doing or where I want to go. I keep hoping a door will swing open and some voice from the other side will say, this is the way...but so far nothing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Janet! Hopefully one day we will find our path.
DeleteGreat post! Have been following your travels and it looked amazing.
ReplyDeleteI have a similar background and depression seems to be quite a common thread for many artist friends.
I too, have asked a lot of the same questions lately and I know there's a reason I am at this stage - I believe it becomes before a paradigm shift and therefore will be a positive outcome.
Also - I am a little overwhelmed by all the 'stuff' accumulated - after travelling and being quite happy living out of a suitcase (and even less for you) - it is difficult to feel at home with so many things distracting.
Good time to do a major declutter and bring new energies into your home and workspace. I am working on that now!
Best wishes to you :)
Thanks Vicki, I hope your holiday was just as awesome as ours. A major declutter would be great I just need some enthusiasm to do it!!! Esp in my little art storage closet!
DeleteClose your eyes. Then close your mind completely, See only black while taking deep cleansing breaths. Then you begin to see small hints and images and you think of your special place in the world, the place where you are special.
ReplyDeleteNow ,if you can, look around for your lost inspiration.
Thanks Kanchan, I'll try that! xxx
DeleteI think we all go through this at one time or another. The problem with me is I want to paint and create (I have a show the end of November and another one two weeks later), but with us moving and so much going on I don't have the time. I think I'm just going to have to schedule the time into my day, somehow. In the meantime, look at your photos you took and maybe you'll feel the itch to sketch which might lead into you painting again. It will come back.
DeleteThanks Carol, yes scheduling time is important as other things can crowd our lives. And I must keep going through my photos and print out some inspiration.
DeleteAs you can see by my blog, I am going through the same thing. Crafts sometimes help me, something other than paint. And, you know when you are in a creative jag, you put other things aside? Re: family, house, etc... maybe now is the time to give those some attention. I don't think anyone would/should criticize if the artist isn't producing for a while. It'll come back. In its own sweet time,
ReplyDeleteThanks Lin, there's plenty around my house that needs my attention and I may just be creative in other areas for a while.
DeleteI go through this ebb and flow - one thing that can rekindle the fire is looking back at earlier work and thinking, actually, that was pretty good! Forcing time off is good too - you just had a bunch but do you take it in regular weeks? Two days a week when you're not "allowed" to paint? Sometimes making it a scarcer commodity results in you doing more of it, even though that seems crazy. Writing a business plan, as unpleasant as I found it, helped a lot with direction, especially answering the questions "who are your competitors?" "what makes you different?" and "how will you market your work?"
ReplyDeleteObviously I don't have *the* answer, though, or this problem wouldn't keep recurring for me.
I also took a hobby and have been trying to make it a job (crochet design) and it can be hard to face the need to do so much more of it than you were doing before (and also the unpleasant businessy stuff that has to be done). On the other hand, it's opened up time for hobbies I'd pushed aside, and I think I've read more books in the last year and a half than in the previous five years.
Thanks for this post and all the links - I've bookmarked several.
Thanks Rebecca, I'll try to put your suggestions into place.
DeleteHey Shells, thanks for the shout out, I'd like to say that sometimes, our passion just fades for a while. Maybe you've changed? Just know that, that's okay! I too once loved drawing so much. It's all I ever did a kid. But in the end, I think I just developed new passions. I'll always love drawing and I'm a major fan of any well done animation, so it's not like I forgot about it forever. Anyways, don't fret about it too much. Forgive yourself for losing passion about your painting. I see it like a relationship, we can't possess and squeeze the life out of our loves--That's crazy town. So let dissipate or come back, all in all, you'll be okay.
ReplyDeleteThanks Megan, your words are very comforting.
DeleteOh Michelle, I am SOOO with you! My last fully completed painting was done at Easter and, thankfully, now hangs on my wall. Since then I have dabbled, and also did Flora's online course, but to no avail. There is nothing there! I shouldn't say nothing, as I feel my mojo is still there, but I do feel that I need to SSSLLLOOOWWW down some, get my art supplies in order again, perhaps even reorganising my art room, and then drag some old canvasses out and either start again (yay for gesso) or add to/tweak what I have there. I have thought the same as you, in that do I really want more canvasses laying around the house?! The answer is no, so I am going to look into journalling so that I can experiment while not having to worry about getting rid of the paintings! I have been following Alisa Burke from Oregon online for a while, and she has some great art ideas outside of painting and journalling. You can find her here - http://alisaburke.blogspot.com.au/. I'm going to check out the links you've shared above; hopefully they will help me too! My advice would be to chillax about it. Take a step back for the moment. Clean up your art room. Find a spot outside to fling paint around and prepare it for when your mojo returns. The biggest thing is to NOT STRESS about it. It will return, as mine has done on and off this year. And also pray about it. God will lead you to where He feels your art should go. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHi Paula, yes I love Alisa Burke and have been journaling a little this year, I'm also re-using old unvarnished canvases, I've bought some fresh supplies but need to tidy up my art room....Thanks, hugs Mxxx
DeleteI having the same trouble, wonder what happened to us, its so out our nature
ReplyDeleteAnother fellow sufferer here, with both the depression and the loss of mojo, my advise is don't worry about it, do something constructive, tidy the garden, paint the lounge, something that will be positive, you will find that in the middle of weeding or just before that last wall gets a lick of paint your ideas will flow, make sure you have a note book to write down all your ideas nearby for when you have finished your task...umm...might do my blog today on my ideas folder.....loving being part of blogtoberfest...even if I did miss one day :P
ReplyDeleteOh no! Mojos can be hard to find once you lose them : (
ReplyDeleteMaybe after a break you will find new inspiration. I hope so as I love seeing your work.
Michelle, I am so glad you liked the link I sent, that you found it of some use. I haven't painted big that much since I moved my studio home. Around the same time my mum told us she'd had test and rather than get sick taking treatment she decided to let things go naturally. It has been hard to stretch my arms wide to cover the width of my big "Farewell" painting. I will blog about it soon, but his same movement in Yoga and the Wu Tao dance is associated with grief. Sometimes when life is big, I need to work small, sometimes I am off the page. I am very lucky to have persisted with building a rhythm to my work that is based on the seasons and where I live that suits me. It has reduced my expectations on myself because I can only do what I can, but over the years each bit adds to what I've done before. I am not the master, but the servant as well. This cycle doesn't fit easily with the commercial world but for me that comes after. Your big trip and all you've taken in take time to sink in. I wonder if taking a real world class or maybe volunteering at a hospital or somewhere might give you a spark. There's a lady at the hospice where my mum is who I've been helping, giving very small gifts of materials I don't need and she loves it, she cant believe she's nearly 70 and only just discovered art. What I can say is every mark you may, every line in a journal, every gift, photo, brushstroke all adds us. You are becalmed, but the wind will blow soon I am sure. Enjoy it, take a walk, do different things. Maybe it's the universe to discover something new. There are lots of stories of people in all walks of life trying hard to be a success, only to find out they have gifts in something completely different, athletes and artists alike. Maybe try a completely new medium, something you've always wanted to try. Permission to play is important. But remember you are not alone in all this. Thank you for sharing here, it's wonderful, because when it does pass, which it will, we will share your joy of finding your mojo again. Peace and blessings to you in the still space. You might even miss it when it's gone!!! :)
ReplyDelete